Can you really force your child to behave?

Why can’t they just listen, sit down calmly, and do what you say? 

How many times do you have to plead or even raise your voice to say…

  • “Don’t put that in your hair!” 
  • “Stop bouncing the ball off the wall because daddy is sleeping,” or 
  • “Quit jumping from the chair to the couch!” 

Do you find yourself having sketchy thoughts as your child has a temper tantrum at 7am when you are trying to get everyone out of the house for school?

Forcing your child to behave may seem like the best approach now, but what happens when you develop a pattern of needing your child to behave for you to be calm? You then give your child tremendous power. They now have a bit of control over your emotions.

So how do you maintain being effective as a parent? For most of us, as our anxiety increases, so do our reactions. And those reactions can quickly turn into controlling, blaming, yelling, hovering, ignoring, giving in, and criticizing. 

So can you (should you) force your child to behave? 

As I sat here thinking about this topic and the many conversations I have with parents/grandparents like you, I decided to hit “record” on my phone and share my thoughts with you.

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Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

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Amy Cobb MS Family/Human Development

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