Teen Rejection will Challenge our Parenting Skills

I hate to admit it, but when my kids were little, it was the first time I really felt popular. All the “mommy do it” felt great. It was sort of exhausting, but it was also so sweet and there was so much love from my boys. I also hate to admit how as they morphed into teenagers and started pushing away, I felt so rejected at times. I was surprised at how their teen rejection felt personal and painful when my boys had such disdain for me. Yes, I knew it was a normal part of their development, but it still hurt.

So what to do when we are standing there feeling like teenagers  ourselves, facing rejection by our actual teenagers?  


I’ve got two ideas for you:

IDEA #1

Do a flow of feelings, which means checking in with yourself before responding to their rejection. Take a moment and ask yourself:

“What about this makes me mad?”
“What do I feel sad about?” 

“What do I feel scared about?” 

“What do I feel guilt or regret about?” 


Then scan yourself for the opposite feelings:


“What am I happy about when it comes to this kid?” 

“What am I grateful for?” 

“What do I feel secure in myself about?” 

“And what do I feel proud of myself when it comes to showing up for this kid?”


If we can take a moment and check in with how we feel, we’re likely to respond to our kids better.

IDEA #2

Don’t reject them back! I know teen rejection is hard sometimes!

What we need to do is to keep showing up with hugs and warmth and affection and interest in them and their lives. (And yes, we can set limits if they are rude.)

We need to let them push off of us. We are meant to be the sturdy springboard that they bounce off of. If we’re rejecting them back, we’re just being in another teenager in their lives and they don’t need you to be another teenager in their lives. They need loving, supportive parents.

So do your best to keep your inner teen in check and keep showing up as the loving parent that you are.
 Be interested in them. Invite them to spend time with you. Let them know that you enjoy being with them. Make time for play.

If you practice these two skills, you up the odds of getting through your kids “teen rejection years” with an intact relationship.

Palmer and I are here to support you. Feel free to hit “reply” and share if this resonates with you!

Share:

Most Popular

Get The Latest Updates

Subscribe To Our Weekly Newsletter

No spam, notifications only about new products, updates.
.
On Key

Related Posts

Mom holding toddler during a tantrum

What Vexes Parents

A friend and talk show host asked me this week what 5 issues vex most parents. That’s a pretty big question! I’m going to share

Mom with kids walking in the woods

Self-care, self-love, and the art of parenting.

Chances are you have found that parenting stretches you in ways you didn’t see coming. I’m betting that you want your children to feel absolutely loved, cherished, and adored by you, down to their core.

Let's Get Together

Please request a free Discovery Call with one of us.

Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

Brett King LPCC NCC, MFT

My specialty is couples therapy with parents. I also have expertise in parenting, betrayal recovery, and addiction.  Learn more

Debbie Bassett MA, LPCC, MFTC

My focus includes trauma, attachment, anxiety, depression, and relational work; including a focus on children and teens, parents, and couples.  Learn more

Amy Cobb - Parent Coach

Amy Cobb MS Family/Human Development

I specialize in working with parents and caregivers with children from cradle to college, with special focus from birth – 10 years old. Learn more

Session Request with Debbie

I look forward to meeting with you.

Discovery Call Request with Kerry

My practice is quite full, however I am accepting new clients if I feel there is a good fit and I can be helpful.  Please share what brings you to seek therapy at this time.

I look forward to discovering if we are a good fit.

Discovery Call Request with Debbie

I look forward to discovering if we are a good fit.

Discovery Call Request with Brett

I look forward to discovering if we are a good fit.

Welcome Back

If you are an established client, please click on your therapist/parent coach to access their online booking portal.