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Some Thoughts on Parenting With Words

Those familiar with Love and Logic know that we’re big on kids learning life’s critical lessons by making lots of affordable mistakes and experiencing the affordable consequences of such mistakes. We’re not so big on trying to teach important lessons through lectures…or lots of words.

The more words we use when our kids are upset or misbehaving, the less effective we become.

With this said, there are still times when it’s very important for parents to have discussions with their kids about important matters. Listed below are three little tips:

    •  Have discussions only when you and your kids are calm.
    •  Anger and frustration short-circuit learning…and relationships!
    •  Avoid telling them things they already know.

A teenage client of mine complained, “My parents are always saying, ‘If you don’t do your home work, you’re going to get bad grades.’ How stupid do they think I am?”

When we tell kids what they already know, we send the message that we don’t think they are very bright.

Have plenty of short conversations rather than long ones.

Kids think the hardest about what we say when we keep our discussions short and sweet.

Thanks for reading!


Dr. Charles Fay
©2009 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Ph.d.& Love and Logic® Institute

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